Big Brother 9: “Air quotes”

March 24, 2008 at 11:00 am Leave a comment

After a stumblingly awkward early season where the whole “couples” gimmick did way more harm than good, Big Brother 9 has settled back into the dependable rhythm of backstabbing, plotting, and strategery that has become its trademark.

Trouble is, I think the damage has already been done–the show’s typical dynamic wasn’t able to churn to life until they did away with the couples bullshit, so it still feels anemic, like some idiot’s home game version of the show. That’s not totally the producer’s fault, for coming up with a lame gimmick; it’s also the casting director’s fault, for letting this collection of losers into the house in the first place.

It’s not that losers can’t make fine contestants on Big Brother, or any reality show. There is a long, storied tradition of losers becoming perfectly acceptable reality contestants; the career of Jonny Fairplay is just one testament to that.

These people aren’t just losers; they’re boring, dense losers. Which means there’s precious little in the way of interesting gameplay happening–oh sure, Ryan and Joshuah have some secret alliance, and I guess it’s serving them well, but then there’s idiotic big-mouths like Sheila, or her “partner” Adam, who apparently doesn’t work for a non-profit helping what he called “retards” and what the rest of us know as “children afflicted with autism.”


He’s got to be one of the most physically repugnant people ever to appear on television. That picture’s flattering, trust me. He’s got creepy freaky bug eyes and a face that twists into a fun house mirror version of death itself whenever he gets animated. Bleargh.

I have a feeling that once some of the remaining detritus is evacuated from the house–people like Sheila, Adam, and Natalie (how creepy is she???)–maybe we’ll get a real game going, with the final five. Ryan, Shannon, Joshuah, James, and Chelsia all seem just smart enough to be good at Big Brother. Heck, some of the poor couple folk who didn’t get a chance to stick around might have been good at it too, but the producer’s shitty gimmick pushed them out the door too early.

Regardless, this summer’s regular season can’t get here fast enough. Please, Big Brother, no couples this time!


Entry filed under: Reality. Tags: , , .

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