25 Songs of X-Mas: “Christmas at K-Mart”

“I musta died and gone to heaven, cause hell is Christmas at the 7-Eleven…”

Known as “the Lenny Bruce of the Blues,” Root Boy Slim recorded six albums and allegedly got a $250,000 recording contract based solely on “Christmas at K-Mart.” Worth every penny, I’d say.

25 Songs of X-Mas: “Feliz Navidad”

The Jose Feliciano classic. I live for those horns every year. This song swings and rocks.

(Fair warning: I will someday own one of those light programming machines and bore you every year with my own choreography to obscure X-Mas tunes.)

BONUS: Debbie Harry covers “Feliz Navidad” with Spiraling. They give it a cool Blondie vibe.

25 Songs of X-Mas: “Christmas Wrapping,” The Waitresses

This is an xmas tune that I sorta rediscovered a couple years back; I always knew it was out there, but I never recognized its awesomeness till I sat down and gave it a close listen. A snide yet heartwarming story of “missed connections” with a happy ending, a detached vibe that belays the need for human interaction, and the horns. Oh yes, the horns.

(It’s also another tune with a horrific cover by a Radio Disney standby; avoid the Miranda Cosgrove version at all costs. The Donnas have a cover too but it has no horns, and thus, isn’t quite as good.)

25 Songs of X-Mas: “All I Want for Christmas Is You”

I had never seen this video; clever, Mariah. Clever.

25 Songs of X-Mas: “Happy Birthday Guadalupe,” The Killers

The Killers’ 2009 holiday single is damned catchy; soaring mariachi pop. All proceeds from “Happy Birthday Guadalupe” go directly to the (RED) Global Fund to invest in African AIDS programs, with a focus on the health of women and children. Buy it at Amazon.

25 Songs of X-Mas: “Back Door Santa”

In honor of my colonoscopy today:

(This version is new to me; it kicks relative ass. However, the original Clarence Carter version on Stax is where it’s truly at, but it wasn’t on YouTube. Seek it out.)

25 Songs of X-Mas: “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” Broooce

Inspired by my toddler who discovered this tune on our local holiday radio station yesterday and excitedly exclaimed the second I walked in the door last night, “Daddy! Daddy! We heard Bruce!”

25 Songs of X-Mas: “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)”

My online pal Ken Lowery mentioned a new Very Special Christmas compilation for this year, and the “disturbing” track list.

If you are not thirteen and in possession of girl parts, then yes, it is indeed a chilling rundown of today’s least talented pop stars. The holiday music fan in me cringes; however, the practical side of me is glad Special Olympics recruited this lineup because I’m sure it will sell albums to the aforementioned young ladies.

Regardless, because I am a grumpy young man, I must spend a moment defending the honor of one of the great all-time holiday songs, “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home).” Penned by Phil Spector, Jeff Barry, and the late Ellie Greenwich, the song was originally recorded by Darlene Love for Spector’s legendary A Christmas Gift for You album. It has since been notably covered by U2 (on the first A Very Special Christmas comp); that’s the version you probably hear on your local “all holiday, all the time” radio station.

Either the Darlene Love or the U2 version is preferable to the cover on A Very Special Christmas 7 by That Chick from Gossip Girl Who Thinks She Can Sing (No, Not That One, The Other One). Watch and understand.

25 Songs of X-Mas: “CTA X-Mas Train,” The Snow Angels

I thought I’d start another regular writing commitment that I will fail at within days and post 25 great X-Mas songs in preparation for the impending holidays.

Day 1 features my brother-in-law’s band, the Snow Angels, and their original track, “CTA X-Mas Train.” They’re currently in the running to win a New Holiday Classics competition at the Chicago Tribune, so hop on over and vote for them!

Merry Crimble!

May all of you have a very wonderful Christmas today…and if you don’t celebrate Christmas, just have an awesome day period.

One last tune for The X-Mas Files 2008, then I delete all this crap off my iPod for another year!